Juni Part 7


It’s been a while but I have been tied up reporting my findings to the Scottish Government Minister for Natural History, Angus Outtodry on my recent findings. The last week has seen some shocking evidence that dinosaurs are not only active but indeed they are settling in specific areas.

Ten days ago now, I travelled a short distance to investigate a local club as I had heard that maybe there was a prehistoric tendency at this club. I wasn’t disappointed, we went in to an early lead at said venue and within seconds I heard the cry of the Idiotasaurus “we were getting fed up with beating you anyway” it cried from the far touch line.  It was disappointing that as the game went on the presence of the Clownsinblacktops became more prominent and it is my opinion, as a respected palaeontologist and registered dinosaur hunter, that these need to be exterminated as soon as possible and eliminated from the game.

On to last weekend and to the first meeting of the season with the Common Lothianasaurus, they arrived in two waves the first wave arrived in a modern version of the horse and cart, a coach. Now this was something of a surprise as I wasn’t actually aware that the wheel had actually reached the Lothian area but they do seem to have adapted to its use. More worrying was the arrival of a second coach, this contained the more attack minded beasts possibly more vegetarian as they all seemed stuck to the windows upon the sight of trees and vegetation. Thankfully no incidents occurred and the only disappointment was that they managed to steal the three points on offer.

Yesterday we were visited by another battalion from the Lothianasaurae; these were of a different breed not as intelligent as last week and certainly not in the large number, one or two strange beings amongst them, definitely not vegetarian as they seemed to have a tendency at smoking the vegetation rather than eating it. I still need to ascertain whether smoking the undergrowth is preferential over eating it. This time the Lothianasaurae were dispatched with their tails between their legs.

I now embark on a road trip which includes two trips in to the Lothian territory I may not return but if I am lost then it is in the cause of exposing the Junior football dinosaurs


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